STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
