yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
