i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
