O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
