When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
