Only a mothe r could love this liver
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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