just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
