Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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