just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
