I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
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