margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I just found puke in my bra..
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
