So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
