When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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