Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
