Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
