Don't you send me to vm
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
