ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
