if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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