Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
