She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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