Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
