I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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