When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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