Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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