You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
FUCK WHALES
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
