Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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