Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
