I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
