im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
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