So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Randomize
