you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
