Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
