I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
