just tell him i said nine months
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
