just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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