considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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