totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
