we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
