I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
