A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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