have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
