Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I faked an abortion last night.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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