Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
