Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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