Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
We have started to decorate penises.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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