is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
