Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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