I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
