Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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