apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
