New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
